MAMA

Belakangan ini  gw merasa kalo gw anak mama.
Padahal dari dulu gw  selaluu merasa  cenderung anak papa. Mungkin karna dengan papa, seperti bapak-bapak yang lain cenderung memberikan kebebasan kepada anak-anaknya. Terutama soal duit he3…Urusan duit rasanya lebih gampang kalo ngurusnya ke beliau. Urusan yang lain2 juga. Beliau nggak pernah maksain semua.

Tapi kemarin gw tau kenapa mama terasa lebih jauh. Karna gw nggak pernah mendekat. Gw nggak pernah mencoba untuk mendekati beliau. Hingga akhirnya gw membuka diri dan menemukan betapa beliau begitu mengerti gw. Dalam kecerewetannya beliau mengkhawatirkan gw. Dan dalam diamnya beliau  mendoakan gw.

Maybe because she’s a woman, maybe because she’s been trough all the bitter of the world, or maybe because she’s my mom who knew me too well even when i never told her anything. And suddenly i knew what every scratch in her face made from. Every scratch means every pains she endure. And maybe lots of them are there because of me.

And last night, i  miss her so much.
When a friend of mine told me a story about him and his mom  that can make me feel how much he loves her and care about her. I envy him for that.

Mom..i never said it too much
but i do love you too!

from the heart |